It is a new week! 

I decided last week that I needed to do more than feel stick in the house so I have signed up to sell Discovery Toys. I love them and they are great for developmental growth whether the child is special needs or not.

I am enduring the battle of the toddler.  I have two very opinionated toddler girls.  I keep changing my strategy until one works.  Any ideas are welcome.

No news on the home front.  I need to call more architects for bids but have been procrastinating.  I am trying to put most of my time into selling the toys for now because I really love them and I don't know many people which would help.

Halloween was crazy.  I took Angelica out with us.  It was great until the sun went down then it got really cold.  We started out at a Trunk or Treat.  The cars participating were from various car clubs so it was fun for all.  We then hit the grocery store to grab some snacks and drinks for the kids since we had two staying over night.  After that we went to the local mall, Pier Park, for some trick or treating.  That was awesome!  All the stores were participating and we got there before the crowd.  Then we went to a church festival with games and a small train ride.  The kids all had a ton of fun.  Even little Sabrina.  She was so little that she could barely reach some of the games but it was so fun!

My interest in politics is rapidly increasing. I fear that I am boring my husband with my daily newfound knowledge.  I am also in two new classes.  They aren't so bad.  I enjoy both of them.

Well, I am going to go for now. Today is Joseph's birthday so I need to get some treats for his class and I would like to get my name out there more.  It is toy season after all.

Is the week over yet?

What a week! and it is only Wednesday.  There have been some pretty bad thunderstorms so the temperature and humidity keep fluctualting so much that we are catching minor colds. 

Yesterday Angelica had a stomach emptying study and we were at a hospital that apparently hasn't dealt with children with her difficulties before.  I even told them that I didn't have much trust in them. 

We did finally get her new mattress though which has been a month long saga of them coming out, it not fitting and them taking it back to do modifications.  She had a very restful sleep (it is a Tempurpedic).

Then....today there was an accident just a couple blocks from here that killed a child waiting for the bus.  I knew the child had to go to my childrens school because that is the only elementary school that services this area.  Unfortunately, it was someone in my son, Christopher's first grade class.  I was very upset by the news.  Christopher does have a tendency to get very upset about things.  He is autistic and very sensitive.  He even got upset because he didn't get his flu vaccine (they were giving them out at school).  So, I will wait until the end of the day to see how he took the news.  The school did call and I gave them a heads up about it. 

On a good note, Angelica's school called yesterday and informed me that they are not administering the flu mist. I was upset when I got a notice that they were going to administer the mist at school and I thought it was negligent to do this in a school with so many immunocompromised children.  I told them what I knew of the mist and the fact that it sheds.  Well, apparently, after speaking to me they did some research, spoke to the health department and even called the CDC and after confirming the information I gave them they had come to the decision to only allow the injectable vaccine and none of the mist will be brought into the building.  YAY!!  Somebody listened!

Well, that is enough for now.

Starting out

Well, I haven't been on in awhile.  So much has happened.  We bought a house and moved from NC to FL.  Angelica loves the beach.  We love our new house.  It is open and pretty.  Very easy for Angelica to be a part of the family wherever we are in the house. 

There have been some issues such as the bathroom was not as easy to adapt as we thought.  Also, we severely downsized from our previous home so we are feeling squeezed up.

So, after about 5 months we took the plunge and purchased an empty lot across the street from the Gulf of Mexico.  I have never built a house but I am a control freak so this should be quite an adventure.

I haven't forgotten about the compensation program.  I am trying to meet people and network so I can eventually get something done.  Politics is often more about who you know than what you want done.

Now that this is a bit more generalized, I anticipate having a lot more to contribute.  I have a lot to share about Angelica's progress.  her life has changed quite a bit since we moved.  Bye for now~

I am finally getting back into the groove and will hopefullybe posting more regularly again. I really want to fix this screwed up court and vaccine system. if any of my faithful followers know how to help me reach the right people or know how to direct me to the right resources, I would really appreciate it.

I am going to put my two cents out there for those that care...lol...about the recent court decision regarding vaccines and autism. IT IS A JOKE mainly because THAT COURT IS A JOKE. They should be ashamed of themselves. I have never seen such a gross miscarriage of justice. I am tlaking mainly about the officials within that system acting as though they are truly looking out for the truth. I think that it is virtually impossible to convince those in that court to truly attribute anything to vaccines without having their backs to the wall.
OK, so now that the rant is over, let me talk about us.

Angelica now has two dislocated hips and we only have one more step between now and the surgery. That is because the procedure that they would like to perform is very drastic and seems barbaric to me so we are still going to try something else first.

I have been an emotional mess. I am glad that the supposed hard part is over and we have finally recieved the funds from her vaccine injury but it is almost bittersweet. The truth of the matter is that I will never have my baby back as she was and everyday is a constant reminder of what happened to her.

Then I have trouble dealing with the anger. I read newspaper and magazine articles that have blatant flasehoods such as vaccines pose no danger and there are only a few side effects and they are virtually harmless. Try telling me that...or Angelica.

We have been pondering a very tough decision and today it came very clear why my husband has not made a clear decision either way. We have been trying to decide whether to stay where we are or move to Florida. My husband is fearful of how hard it will be for me starting over in a new place with no friends, contacts, support, etc. I think I will be ok but who knows until it happens. I am very fearful. I do not really like where I am living but am fearful to change all that I know. We have never lived anywhere else with Angelica and don't know how to start all over with someone with her level of disabilities.

I have always wanted to live closer to the beach. This just fueled my ill feelings. If she had not been injured we would already be living there but every time it comes up I pass. I have very little trust in doctors and have had some (doctors) virtually ridicule me for thinking that vaccines injured her brain. There is a much smaller choice in providers there. I cannot find any kind of message board or other means of connectig with others there and I fear being isolated in a new place with unbearable burdens, in terms of all the medical care required.

I just don't know what to do and I need to decide soon.

I welcome any comments and opinions. I am sure I have thought through everything but there may be pearls of wisdom out there.

Well, it is time to resume my hectic life so I will be back in a day or so.

It has been a long time...

Well, it has been a long time. Mostly because I have been dealing with my own demons. All of this mess finally wrapped up and it was a ridiculous and time consuming process. The end result is that I am more angry than ever and am having a bit of trouble dealing with my pain and anger. Add that to the holidays and everyday life and it is not a good mix.

Angelica also had a surgery during that time. She had a VNS implanted which is a Vagus Nerve Stimulator. It will, hopefully, assist with controlling her siezures and at the very least allow her to come off of one of her siezure meds. It was a fairly easy procedure. Even after all that has occurred she is a fast healer and is very healthy.

Now all we need to do is get her dislocated hip corrected and we will be on the path to pain free wellness once again. I did take her for a second opinion. What a waste since I found out that he is in the same practice and there was no way in the world he was going to go against the original doctor. He was also not very nice.

We had contemplated a move to Florida. We were actually picking a house out and had a job and everything but I found out that there is only one specialist of each at the nearest children's hospital, which was two hours away. For most people this wouldn't be a problem but when a vaccine injury is involved you need to be choosy and ensure that you have an understanding doctor since so many doctors deny that these reactions even occur. I couldn't even secure a phone call/consult with the doctor and I tried. If he is that busy then my children would not get the attention they deserve. Unfortunately, Angelica is not my only special child. So I am in the neurologist office quite a bit and the last thing I need is a rushed and innattentive doctor. I was heartbroken and even cried. The only place Angelica is truly happy and relaxed is when we are at the beach and it was very important to me to live in the happiest place possible for her. That, too, made me angry. Even something as simple as a move ended up being so complicated and stressful and in the end the decision was made to stay where we are, with doctors that we trust.

I need to go for now but am redidcating myself to this. I know there are some that have been checking back in and I have greatly disappointed them and I am so sorry!