I am finally getting back into the groove and will hopefullybe posting more regularly again. I really want to fix this screwed up court and vaccine system. if any of my faithful followers know how to help me reach the right people or know how to direct me to the right resources, I would really appreciate it.

I am going to put my two cents out there for those that care...lol...about the recent court decision regarding vaccines and autism. IT IS A JOKE mainly because THAT COURT IS A JOKE. They should be ashamed of themselves. I have never seen such a gross miscarriage of justice. I am tlaking mainly about the officials within that system acting as though they are truly looking out for the truth. I think that it is virtually impossible to convince those in that court to truly attribute anything to vaccines without having their backs to the wall.
OK, so now that the rant is over, let me talk about us.

Angelica now has two dislocated hips and we only have one more step between now and the surgery. That is because the procedure that they would like to perform is very drastic and seems barbaric to me so we are still going to try something else first.

I have been an emotional mess. I am glad that the supposed hard part is over and we have finally recieved the funds from her vaccine injury but it is almost bittersweet. The truth of the matter is that I will never have my baby back as she was and everyday is a constant reminder of what happened to her.

Then I have trouble dealing with the anger. I read newspaper and magazine articles that have blatant flasehoods such as vaccines pose no danger and there are only a few side effects and they are virtually harmless. Try telling me that...or Angelica.

We have been pondering a very tough decision and today it came very clear why my husband has not made a clear decision either way. We have been trying to decide whether to stay where we are or move to Florida. My husband is fearful of how hard it will be for me starting over in a new place with no friends, contacts, support, etc. I think I will be ok but who knows until it happens. I am very fearful. I do not really like where I am living but am fearful to change all that I know. We have never lived anywhere else with Angelica and don't know how to start all over with someone with her level of disabilities.

I have always wanted to live closer to the beach. This just fueled my ill feelings. If she had not been injured we would already be living there but every time it comes up I pass. I have very little trust in doctors and have had some (doctors) virtually ridicule me for thinking that vaccines injured her brain. There is a much smaller choice in providers there. I cannot find any kind of message board or other means of connectig with others there and I fear being isolated in a new place with unbearable burdens, in terms of all the medical care required.

I just don't know what to do and I need to decide soon.

I welcome any comments and opinions. I am sure I have thought through everything but there may be pearls of wisdom out there.

Well, it is time to resume my hectic life so I will be back in a day or so.

It has been a long time...

Well, it has been a long time. Mostly because I have been dealing with my own demons. All of this mess finally wrapped up and it was a ridiculous and time consuming process. The end result is that I am more angry than ever and am having a bit of trouble dealing with my pain and anger. Add that to the holidays and everyday life and it is not a good mix.

Angelica also had a surgery during that time. She had a VNS implanted which is a Vagus Nerve Stimulator. It will, hopefully, assist with controlling her siezures and at the very least allow her to come off of one of her siezure meds. It was a fairly easy procedure. Even after all that has occurred she is a fast healer and is very healthy.

Now all we need to do is get her dislocated hip corrected and we will be on the path to pain free wellness once again. I did take her for a second opinion. What a waste since I found out that he is in the same practice and there was no way in the world he was going to go against the original doctor. He was also not very nice.

We had contemplated a move to Florida. We were actually picking a house out and had a job and everything but I found out that there is only one specialist of each at the nearest children's hospital, which was two hours away. For most people this wouldn't be a problem but when a vaccine injury is involved you need to be choosy and ensure that you have an understanding doctor since so many doctors deny that these reactions even occur. I couldn't even secure a phone call/consult with the doctor and I tried. If he is that busy then my children would not get the attention they deserve. Unfortunately, Angelica is not my only special child. So I am in the neurologist office quite a bit and the last thing I need is a rushed and innattentive doctor. I was heartbroken and even cried. The only place Angelica is truly happy and relaxed is when we are at the beach and it was very important to me to live in the happiest place possible for her. That, too, made me angry. Even something as simple as a move ended up being so complicated and stressful and in the end the decision was made to stay where we are, with doctors that we trust.

I need to go for now but am redidcating myself to this. I know there are some that have been checking back in and I have greatly disappointed them and I am so sorry!